How to Make Time for Yourself When Everyone Needs Something

How to Make Time for Yourself When Everyone Needs Something

Some days it feels like everybody wants something.

Work wants something.

The kids want something.

Your phone is going.

There is washing sitting there.

Dinner needs sorted.

Somebody needs a lift.

Somebody else needs a reply.

And by the time everyone else is finally sorted, you are absolutely wrecked.

Then someone tells you that you need to “make more time for yourself”.

Brilliant.

What time exactly?

That is the difficult bit.

Most people do not have two spare hours sitting there waiting to be used.

So maybe the answer is not finding loads more time.

Maybe it is just getting a little bit of your own time back.

You Do Not Need Hours

This is where people can make it harder than it needs to be.

Time for yourself does not have to mean a spa day, a full afternoon off or some massive morning routine.

It can be 15 minutes.

A coffee on your own.

A quick walk.

Sitting in the car for five minutes before you go inside.

Going to bed instead of doing one more job.

Eating your lunch without answering emails.

None of that sounds exciting.

But sometimes that is enough.

Stop Waiting Until Everything Is Done

This is probably one of the biggest traps.

You tell yourself:

“I’ll sit down when everything is finished.”

But everything is never finished.

There is always another email.

Another bit of washing.

Another thing to tidy.

Another message.

Another job that can apparently only be done by you.

At some point you have to decide that something can wait.

Not forever.

Just for a bit.

The kitchen can wait 20 minutes.

The email can wait.

The washing is not going anywhere.

You do not have to completely empty the list before you are allowed to sit down.

You Might Be Giving Away More Time Than You Think

Most people are genuinely busy.

But there are also little bits of time that disappear without us really noticing.

You sit down for ten minutes and end up scrolling for half an hour.

You start answering one message and suddenly you have answered six.

You spend 20 minutes doing something that probably did not need doing today anyway.

That is not about making yourself more productive.

Quite the opposite.

Maybe some of those little gaps should just be left alone.

Maybe they can actually be yours.

Put Yourself on the List as Well

We are usually very good at remembering what everybody else needs.

Appointments.

School things.

Food shopping.

Work deadlines.

Phone calls.

Prescriptions.

Birthdays.

Everything gets remembered.

Except sometimes yourself.

So put something for you on the list as well.

Not at the bottom.

Not after everything else.

Just somewhere on it.

Maybe it is a walk.

Maybe it is the gym.

Maybe it is meeting someone for coffee.

Maybe it is going to bed early.

Maybe it is sitting doing absolutely nothing.

It still counts.

You Are Allowed to Say “Not Yet”

This is a big one if you are the person everyone normally comes to.

You do not have to say no to everything.

But you also do not have to jump every time somebody asks.

“Give me half an hour.”

“I’ll do that later.”

“I can’t get to that today.”

“I’ll sort it tomorrow.”

Those are normal answers.

You are still helping.

You are just not doing everything immediately.

Take the Break Before You Are Completely Done In

A lot of us leave ourselves until last.

You are going to go for a walk later.

You are going to have a decent lunch later.

You are going to sit down later.

Then later arrives and you are exhausted.

So if you can, do something earlier.

Go for the walk before dinner.

Have lunch before you are starving.

Take ten minutes before starting the next thing.

If you leave yourself until the very end of the day every day, you are not going to have much left.

Not Everything Has to Be Useful

This is another thing we are bad at.

You finally get half an hour and immediately think you should use it to exercise, clean, organise something or catch up on work.

You do not have to.

Sometimes half an hour is just half an hour.

Watch something.

Sit outside.

Have a coffee.

Listen to music.

Read.

Do nothing.

It does not need to achieve anything.

Your Phone Can Eat the Whole Break

You sit down for ten minutes.

Pick up the phone.

Check one message.

Then Facebook.

Then email.

Then something completely random.

And suddenly the ten minutes is gone and you do not actually feel like you had a break.

Sometimes the simplest thing is just putting the phone down somewhere else.

Even for ten minutes.

It sounds obvious, but it makes a difference.

Ask for Help Before You Are at Breaking Point

A lot of people wait until they are completely overwhelmed before they ask anyone else to do something.

By then everything feels like a crisis.

Ask earlier.

Can somebody else do the school run?

Can somebody else cook?

Can somebody pick something up?

Can the kids sort that themselves?

Can that job wait?

You might be doing certain things because you have always done them.

That does not mean they always have to be yours.

Some Weeks Just Need to Be Easier

There are weeks when everything is busy.

Work is mental.

The house is busy.

People are sick.

You are running around constantly.

That is probably not the week to expect yourself to be perfect.

Dinner can be easy.

The house can be a bit messy.

You can miss a workout.

You can buy the convenient option.

You can leave things until tomorrow.

Sometimes getting through a busy week in one piece is enough.

This Matters When You Are Trying to Lose Weight Too

When things get busy, looking after yourself is usually the first thing to disappear.

The walks stop.

Lunch becomes whatever is quickest.

Dinner becomes takeaway because nobody can be bothered cooking.

You stay up too late because 10pm is the first time all day nobody wants anything from you.

Then you wonder why everything feels harder.

That is why making a bit of time for yourself is not separate from weight management.

It is part of it.

If you have time to eat properly, you are more likely to eat properly.

If you have space for a walk, you are more likely to walk.

If you stop trying to squeeze another three jobs into the evening, you might actually get some sleep.

None of that needs to be perfect.

The Late-Night Thing Is Real

This one will sound familiar to a lot of people.

You have spent the whole day doing things.

Everyone else is finally sorted.

It is 10.30pm.

You should go to bed.

But you do not want to.

Because this is finally your time.

So you watch one more episode.

Scroll for another hour.

Sit up doing absolutely nothing.

Then you are exhausted the next day.

Sometimes the problem is not that you need to force yourself to bed earlier.

Maybe you need a bit of time for yourself before 10.30pm, so bedtime does not feel like you are giving up the only bit of the day that belonged to you.

You Do Not Have to Disappear for Hours

Making time for yourself does not mean ignoring everybody else.

It does not mean becoming selfish.

It does not mean disappearing for half a day.

It might just mean saying:

“Give me 20 minutes.”

That is it.

You are one of the people you are responsible for looking after as well.

A Better Question

Instead of asking:

“How am I supposed to find more time?”

Try:

“What can wait for 20 minutes?”

That is usually easier.

Maybe the washing.

Maybe the email.

Maybe the cleaning.

Maybe somebody else can sort something.

You probably do not need more hours in the day.

You might just need to stop giving every single one of them away.

If You Feel Guilty, That Is Normal

You sit down and immediately start thinking about what you should be doing.

That does not mean you need to get up.

Let the guilt sit there for a minute.

The world will survive.

Taking half an hour for yourself does not mean you do not care about everybody else.

It just means you are not permanently putting yourself last.

Keep It Simple

Do not turn this into another thing you have to be good at.

You do not need a new routine.

You do not need an app.

You do not need a fancy planner.

Just pick one thing.

Tomorrow, eat lunch away from your desk.

Go for a quick walk.

Put your phone down for 15 minutes.

Go to bed when you are tired.

Leave one job until tomorrow.

That is enough.

What About Weight-Management Support?

For some people, weight management is already difficult enough before you add work, family and everything else into the mix.

Depending on things like BMI, medical history, current medication and your individual circumstances, prescription weight-management treatment may sometimes be an option.

It is not suitable for everyone and it should only be supplied after a proper clinical assessment.

At Keltoi, adults can complete an online weight-management assessment reviewed by a UK prescriber.

If treatment is suitable, the available options can then be discussed.

The Bottom Line

You probably are busy.

You probably do have a lot of people depending on you.

And no, you probably cannot suddenly create three spare hours every day.

But you might be able to take back 20 minutes.

You might be able to let one job wait.

You might be able to say:

“Not right now.”

And sometimes that is enough.

Because if you keep giving every bit of your time away, eventually there is nothing left for you.

This article is for general information only and does not replace individual medical advice.