When Did Going to Bed Early Become Something to Look Forward To?

When Did Going to Bed Early Become Something to Look Forward To?

There was a time when going to bed early felt like a punishment.

When you were younger, being told it was bedtime was about the worst thing that could happen. You would argue that you weren't tired, ask for another ten minutes and somehow find a sudden interest in absolutely anything that meant you could stay up a bit longer.

Then you got older, and staying up late became something you actually wanted to do.

Going out on a Friday night, getting home at some ridiculous hour and somehow managing to function the next morning was perfectly normal. You could go to bed at 3am, get a few hours' sleep and still have a fairly productive Saturday.

Now?

Someone suggests going out on a Saturday night and your first thought is whether you'll be home before ten.

And the really strange part is that getting into bed at half nine, with nothing to do and nobody looking for you, has somehow become one of the most appealing things imaginable.

When exactly did that happen?

Remember When Staying Up Late Was the Whole Point?

When you were younger, the evening was when everything happened.

You would spend the day looking forward to getting out, meeting people, going somewhere or doing something. Friday night was the start of the weekend, and the idea of going home early would have sounded ridiculous.

Even if you weren't going anywhere, you wanted to stay up. There might be a film on television, somebody you wanted to talk to or just the feeling that going to bed meant you were missing something.

Sleep was something you fitted in around everything else.

Now, everything else seems to get fitted in around sleep.

I've noticed that people can get genuinely excited about having absolutely nothing planned for an evening.

No visitors. No appointments. No phone calls. Nobody asking you to go anywhere.

Just getting home, having something to eat, watching a bit of television and heading to bed at a reasonable hour.

Twenty years ago, that would have sounded like the most boring Friday night imaginable.

Now it sounds fantastic.

The Excitement of Cancelled Plans

There's a particular feeling that comes with somebody cancelling plans you weren't really looking forward to.

You had agreed to go somewhere a few weeks earlier, when it seemed like a good idea. But now the day has arrived, you've had a busy week and the thought of getting ready, going out and making conversation for three hours isn't especially appealing.

Then your phone goes.

"Sorry, we're going to have to leave tonight."

And suddenly your entire evening has improved.

Obviously you reply with something polite, saying it's no problem and you'll arrange another time.

But inside, you're already thinking about getting changed into something comfortable and deciding what to watch on television.

It's funny because you probably would have enjoyed yourself if you'd gone. Sometimes it's just the effort involved in getting out of the house that puts you off.

And once you're home, the idea of going back out becomes less and less attractive with every passing minute.

There's definitely a point in the evening when you know you're not leaving the house again.

For some of us, that point is about 6.30pm.

Why Does the Bed Suddenly Seem So Comfortable?

I don't remember being particularly interested in pillows or mattresses when I was younger.

A bed was a bed.

As long as you could sleep in it, that was enough.

Now people have opinions about mattress firmness, different types of pillows, duvets, mattress toppers and what temperature the bedroom should be.

You can spend a small fortune making a bed comfortable, then spend the entire day looking forward to getting back into it.

There's also something about getting into a freshly made bed that becomes more enjoyable as you get older.

Clean sheets, a comfortable pillow, a cool bedroom and knowing you don't need to be anywhere for the next eight hours.

That is a fairly good evening by anybody's standards.

And if it's raining outside, even better.

The weather in Northern Ireland is particularly good at making staying indoors seem like the sensible option. When it's dark, wet and blowing a gale outside, the appeal of going somewhere quickly disappears.

You start wondering why you ever complained about having nothing to do.

The Trouble Is, We Still Don't Actually Go to Sleep

This is the ridiculous part.

You spend all afternoon thinking about getting an early night.

You tell yourself you're going to bed at nine because you're absolutely wrecked and you've had enough of the day.

You get everything sorted, head upstairs, get comfortable and feel quite pleased with yourself.

Then you pick up your phone.

You check one message, have a look through Facebook, read something in the news and somehow end up watching a video about a man restoring a rusty lawnmower.

Before you know it, it's 11.45pm.

So much for the early night.

The annoying thing is that you weren't even particularly interested in any of it. You just kept looking at one more thing.

It's strange how you can spend hours looking forward to going to bed, then immediately find ways to avoid going to sleep once you get there.

I think a lot of us do this because the evening is the first proper bit of peace we've had all day.

Once work is finished, everyone is sorted and the house is quiet, you don't really want the day to end.

Even though you're exhausted.

At Some Point, Sleep Starts Feeling More Important Than Going Out

When you're younger, losing a few hours' sleep doesn't always feel like a big deal.

You might be tired the next day, but you just get on with it.

As you get older, the consequences seem to last considerably longer.

A late night on Saturday can somehow ruin most of Sunday.

You wake up tired, spend the morning trying to get going and then realise you've wasted half the day because you stayed out later than planned.

And that is before you even consider having a few drinks.

There was a time when you could go out on Friday, Saturday and occasionally Sunday without giving it much thought.

Now one late night can require an entire recovery plan.

You start looking at invitations differently.

Not necessarily because you don't want to see people, but because you know exactly how much you'll appreciate waking up on Sunday morning feeling reasonably normal.

There is something quite nice about getting up early at the weekend, having a coffee and realising you've got the whole day ahead of you.

Even if you then spend most of it doing absolutely nothing.

We've Become Quite Protective of Our Evenings

I think another part of it is that life just gets busier.

When you're younger, you often have fewer responsibilities. You might have work or college, but your spare time is largely your own.

Then you get older and suddenly the day is full of things.

Work, children, shopping, appointments, messages, bills, the house and all the little jobs that nobody seems to notice until they need doing.

By the time the evening comes around, you're not necessarily looking for excitement.

You're looking for a bit of peace.

And there's a big difference.

Sometimes the most enjoyable part of the day is knowing that everything is finally finished, or at least finished enough that it can wait until tomorrow.

You sit down, put the television on and nobody needs anything for a while.

That's probably why getting an early night starts to feel like something worth looking forward to.

It's one of the few parts of the day when you're not expected to do anything.

When Did We Start Getting Excited About a Quiet Weekend?

There used to be a certain disappointment in having nothing planned for the weekend.

You'd be on the phone trying to find out what everyone was doing, hoping somebody had something organised.

Now a completely empty weekend can feel like a luxury.

You look at the calendar on Friday and realise there's nowhere you have to be on Saturday morning, nobody coming round and nothing particularly urgent to sort.

Brilliant.

You might go for a walk, do a bit of shopping, get something nice for dinner or just stay in.

And if you can be in bed before ten, even better.

It's not necessarily that we've become boring.

Although, to be fair, some of us probably have.

It's more that our idea of an enjoyable weekend has changed.

You don't always need to be doing something to feel like you've made good use of your time.

Sometimes having a couple of days without rushing around is exactly what you wanted.

There's Probably a Good Reason We Appreciate Sleep More

The funny thing is that sleep is one of those things we tend to take for granted until we're not getting enough of it.

When you're constantly tired, everything feels a bit more difficult.

Getting up for work is harder. Small problems become more irritating. You can't be bothered cooking, getting out for a walk or doing the things you'd normally manage without much thought.

You might find yourself reaching for snacks because you're tired, or staying up even later because you're trying to squeeze some enjoyment out of the end of the day.

It's easy to get into a cycle where you're exhausted during the day but somehow still not getting to bed at a sensible time.

That's one reason sleep is worth thinking about when you're trying to look after yourself.

Not because everybody needs some perfect evening routine involving candles, herbal tea and absolutely no screens after 7pm.

Most of us would struggle to keep that up for three days.

But simply getting enough rest can make quite a difference to how manageable the next day feels.

And when you're trying to eat better, move more or manage your weight, being permanently exhausted certainly doesn't make any of those things easier.

Maybe Getting Older Isn't All Bad

People often talk about getting older as though everything is going downhill.

You can't stay out as late, you get tired more easily and you suddenly find yourself having conversations about mattresses.

But there are some advantages.

You become a bit more comfortable with doing what you actually enjoy rather than what you think you should be doing.

If you fancy going out, you go out.

If you'd rather stay home, you stay home.

And if you want to be in bed at 9.30pm on a Saturday, you don't particularly care whether somebody thinks that's boring.

There's something quite nice about that.

You don't always feel the need to fill every evening with plans or make the weekend sound more exciting than it actually was.

Sometimes when somebody asks what you did over the weekend, the answer is simply that you had a quiet one.

And you genuinely enjoyed it.

I don't know exactly when going to bed early became something to look forward to.

It probably happened gradually, somewhere between starting work, having more responsibilities and discovering that a late night isn't nearly as much fun the following morning as it used to be.

But it's funny how much our priorities change.

We spend our childhood arguing that we're not tired, our younger years doing everything possible to stay awake, and then a good part of adulthood wishing we could get to bed a bit earlier.

And these days, if somebody tells me they've got a completely free Saturday night and plan to be in bed by half nine, I don't think that sounds boring at all.

I think they've got the right idea.

Published by Keltoi Wellness, Northern Ireland. Exploring the everyday habits, routines and small changes that shape how we live.